I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize