White coat. Heels.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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