it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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