Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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