he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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