Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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