Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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