bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You're like the curious george of whores
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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