Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
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I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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