It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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