k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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