If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize