Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize