did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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