i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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