If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize