Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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