Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize