I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
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Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
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Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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