...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize