I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize