new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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