My sheets look like a crime scene.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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