Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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