her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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