Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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