Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
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Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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