I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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