The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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