We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize