News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
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