If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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