Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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