Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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