I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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