How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize