Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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