This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize