I bet he comes in French.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize