my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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