im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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