I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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