Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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