then he tried to convert me to islam
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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