If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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