You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize