if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize