Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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