why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize