Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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